Somerset’s Mom

So, as of June 1st this year, I am the co-artistic director of a small off-off Broadway theater company called Sonnet Repertory Theater. The company has been in existence for 5 years and the founder wanted to step down to the role of Executive Director. My good friend and former classmate Todd Loyd and I were approached to partner as the new co-artistic directors and we said yes.

Now, many of you may know, my life is not one with copious free time. Many of my New York friends were openly shocked by my new commission. I am still in a state of shock.

It’s not that I was looking for a creative outlet. Luckily my career provides ample opportunities for creativity and plenty of stress. But if there is one element that my job does not usually satisfy…it is working on classic plays.

Since the early days of Shakespeare in the Park (Sacramento, not Joe Papp’s) my favorite work has been in the classics. If you could make a living solely doing classic plays, I may have pursued a career as an actress. (I am literally getting up from the chair and spitting between my fingers. ((Pause)) Okay, I’m back.)

So, the opportunity to work on classic plays seemed like a good idea and I accepted the proposal of sharing artistic directorship with Todd. Now I will say that Todd has worked his ass off and thank god, because I have been really struggling to find the time to dedicate to this new venture.

HOWEVER

We had our annual benefit last week on November 12. I’ve attended these benefits in the past as a supporter of the company, but this was my first year in a leadership position. We wanted to up the ante all around, so we took on a ‘concept’ or ‘theme’ rather than a generic cabaret that existed in the past years. So, here was our idea:

We asked Broadway composers to compose a song to a piece of Shakespearian text. It could be a sonnet, or a speech or scene from a play. We then asked a Broadway musical director to put it all together. Finally, we approached Broadway performers to sing the material at our benefit.

We fully expected them to say NO. Many said YES.

Our first hour we provided free wine and food for our guests. This was a time to look at the Silent Auction table (we had some AMAZING stuff) and also participate in a 50/50 raffle. Then Todd and I introduced the performance. Here was the line up:

1. Christine Pedi singing “Shakespeare Is a Girl’s Best Friend,” a lyric parody of “Diamonds are a Girl’s Best Friend.” Christine is a famous face around New York for her successful one-woman shows where she impersonates Broadway Divas.

2. Rachel Ulanet (she was in Broadway’s “LoveMuzik) sang a sonnet written by Steve Marzullo, a MAC (Professional Cabaret Awards) award winner.

3. David Miller sang a sonnet composed by Zina Goldrich. David Miller is one of the multi-platinum Il Divo and our original Rodolfo in Baz Luhrmann’s La Boheme. Zina is currently workshopping a new musical based on the film “Ever After” and is famous for writing “Taylor, the Latte Boy.

4. Terrence Mann sang a duet from his show “The Nightengale” which is based on Romeo and Juliet. That’s right. TERRENCE MANN. The original Javert in Les Miserables. What the fuck. How did he say yes?

5. Bradley Dean, recently of “Company” on Broadway, worked out a Bill Finn song. Yes, Bill Finn agreed to let us sing one of his songs! WTF

6. Will Chase (High Fidelity) and Brandon Wardell (Good Vibrations) sang a hilarious duet based on Summer’s Day written AND composed for our benefit by the one and only Pulitzer Prize winning playwright Marsha Norman.

7. Here’s where it gets crazy. We called Duncan Sheik and asked him to donate a song. He’s smack in the middle of a new musical reading but he said that he had written something for Twelfth Night, and could we use that? We said, of course! Who do you want to perform it? He said. I WILL. That’s right. Duncan Sheik performed his music live at our benefit. And he dressed in a gorgeous suit and looked hot. For those of you who don’t know….Duncan is a pop singer who wrote the music to one of Broadway’s biggest hits and winner of the Tony Award for Best Musical last year…Spring Awakening.

8. One of my all-time Faves…Mr. Brian D’Arcy James sang a new song composed by the songwriting team of Tom Kitt and Amanda Green. It was based on Sonnet 29 and basically was a satire about Senator Craig. It was fucking hilarious and Brian was amazing.

9. Q Smith, who is currently performing in Les Miz (well, not currently, as there is a damned strike on) performed Adam Guettel’s “Love’s Fire” with a back up group of six singers…all Broadway performers. It was beautiful, really swung and was a great wrap up to the evening’s performance.

Can you believe it? I mean, seriously! Here is a press photo shoot of the event: http://www.broadwayworld.com/viewcolumn.cfm?colid=23003

I am fat, but I think, Happy.

Hello all…

Ahhhh, the weekend.  I was supposed to fly to Los Angeles today but have postponed that trip since we are WAY too busy at work.  So, now I fly to Sacramento on Wednesday evening.

Updates:  Things are still going well with the Romantical.  He actually sent flowers to my work.  I got to be ‘that girl’ all day.  It was sweet!

Work: Lots of different projects that all seemed to be tanking last week.  Well, except for the actual project I work on, which went great.  We had our final callbacks on Thursday and it was amazing.  We all love our final choice, and really think our back up was such a sweet guy.  These guys were gorgeous and basically, we asked them to take their clothes off and then do the scene with me playing Samantha.  It was very difficult to run the camera, act with these guys without completely bursting into flames of embarrassment.  Let’s just say that one of the guys is one of the most famous male supermodels of all time. And the other guy, while being relatively unknown, is just as hot.

What a job!

Okay, patient readers….I know that I have been whining and complaining for about seven months now. But please, I’ve been on the dark side of bitter. I was a bittress.

This weekend was unbelievable. My birthday, a day I was starting to dread, was Saturday. I have never been one to dread or even care about birthdays but like I said….

My brother and Esther put together a birthday party for me at Union Bar. It was off the hook. So many friends came out and really partied. I mean, we danced, for god’s sake. It was fantastic.

And my aunt gave me La Mer Creme. It is awesome and a luxury I cannot afford. Now, I’m addicted though and will have sell myself under the Triborough Bridge to afford more.

But the best part is that I had a little romantical finally! And honey, it was GOOD. Like, obviously, when one has great sex, one might enjoy seeing that person again and possibly having more sex, or even having LOTS of SEX. (I cannot even imagine. Like, whenever you want…like every day sometimes, maybe….okay…now I’m getting crazy. But, a girl can dream can’t she?) That’s obvious. But this was sort of different. It inspired a theory:

Theory as to why girls go crazy when they have one night stands

Usually when you hook up with someone new, the sex is very exciting and also bad. This information is not only based on my own experiences, but also detailed accounts most often conducted in the ladies room. Nerves, of course, play a big part. Especially for women, who need to feel comfortable to physically show excitement. And if that fundamental physical reaction is not there, the experience can be painful.

So, after the night of excitement, and, ultimately, bad sex the girl goes through a psychological conversation with herself:

Oh, that was disappointing. But I was excited at first to have sex with this guy. So maybe it just needs a little time and the sex will be good. Okay. Yes. He just needs some investment and perhaps a few suggestions and last night will be worth it. Yes. I did NOT make a mistake.

But then the boy doesn’t call her back, or blows her off in some way. So, now, she works hard to follow through to what she knows will lead to great sex. And that is obviously something that is worth working toward. So, when the boy does not respond to the girl’s cues and instructions, she is baffled. Doesn’t said boy want to have great sex? Is something wrong with him?

And so begins terrible cycle where the girl becomes obsessed with the boy. He thinks because she’s crazy…while she is trying to turn a night of bad sex into several nights of great sex.

FIN

BUT I DON’T FEEL THIS WAY! Instead, I am completely satisfied with Saturday night in every way. This Romantical was HOT, sweet and danced with me. Of course, I’d love to remain open to more opportunities to have more sex, but I don’t feel that need to justify the night.

Anyway. The drought was long. And it was terrible. But I was rewarded with meeting a gorgeous cool guy! Yeah!!!

Wow! Jack and Esther threw me the most amazing party…It was a blast. Dancing, drinking…and…and….

Well, you get the picture.

Smiling all week!

At least I think it’s hilarious. Okay. Here goes.

So, I told all my loyal readers about the embarassing premiere and seeing the one guy in ages that I actually felt attraction to. Yes, he completely ignored me, as he has done since the night when I first met him and thought he was so cool. And secondly, he shaved his beard, which was apparently the thing that attracted me to him in the first place. Which definitely says something about my judgement.

But that isn’t even the best story.

So, a few weeks ago, I was talking to one of my best friends. (From this moment forward, let’s call him BF.) He was working on a project in our old home town, though I live in NYC and he lives in LA. He mentioned a mutual friend (much closer on his side though) who had moved back to LA and was helping him on the project. This said friend is an attractive thirty-something who was recently divorced.

He casually mentioned that this ‘mutual friend’ (future MF) had said that he always thought I was hot. I ‘casually’ hired the guy to be my PA for my auditions in LA.

Okay, okay. I know what you are thinking! But no! I had hired this guy before as a PA and he had been a very good PA. He was also technically and media savvy, and that would be a boon as I would be working entirely in digital media for this particular project.

So….First day, hung out all day…it seemed great. I flirted up a storm. A fucking storm.
Nothing.

So the next day, I hang out with BF and mention that I was sure flirting up a storm, but said MF was having none of it. It was really a shame too, because i had a gorgeous 1 bedroom suite in West Hollywood. BF says that MF is shy, and I really had to lay it on thick in order to guarantee assurance.

The next day was a day off of hanging with MF. It was also halfway thru my trip. I spent the evening with BF at an event that didn’t last late, but definitely too long to plan anything else. This night was marked with the delight of the avoiding said crush. So, the next night, I really layed it on thick. I even did the old ‘you’ve been drinking, so you know you can crash on my sofa’ routine. Failure.

So, the next night, I’m hanging with BF and his actual BF, and I say “BF! So, that guy has zero interest in me, I’ve practically done a lap dance and NOTHING!”
And he proceeds to tell me that he talked to MF on WEDNESDAY (this was Friday) and MF said he wasn’t interested!

Now, I’m asking you! Shouldn’t BF have called me immediately on hanging up with MF and TOLD ME THIS???? But, nooo….He held it to his chest for TWO DAYS….I never would have flirted a second longer with MF. So, I completely humiliated myself, throwing myself at a guy for no reason. Because I thought it was a sure thing.

So what’s the moral of this story?

No one is looking out. Even when you know that no one is really looking out, because all you hear about is how we need to find a boyfriend for so and so, or do you think your new single friend would be interested in so and so….and no one has ever done that for you, despite being single for over 5 years!

But you know no one is really looking out, when they aren’t even telling you who said they WEREN’T INTERESTED IN YOU! Jeez.

Not to say that I don’t have the best friends in the world. I do. But they are NOT looking out. Which means only one thing. They can’t think of anyone who would be attracted to me. They love me, I know they do. I know if it was possible to look out…they might. (well, i guess i can site cases, and have, where this is not true…so maybe they just don’t.)

So…like I promised. a story of my humiliation that started out funny (or at least, I thought it was) and ended depressing! Hoorah!